That's Not Me
by rockerchik777
Summary: One-shot, songfic. When she left him, he tried to make it alone, to be independent, but that wasn't really him. Summary sucks, just read it! Now a full fledged story!


-I'm back after a short break, ready to write this one shot! It's to That's Not Me by the Beach Boys.-

_I had to prove that I could make it alone, but that's not me_

Zack was sitting in the tiny kitchen of his tiny New York City apartment, thinking about what had happened a few months ago. It was still painful, and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to handle it tonight.

It had been four months ago on that day when she had left. He and Katie had been sharing a medium sized apartment in New Jersey while they attended college. He'd been happier than ever, he was going to school and he had his girlfriend with him. But then she had gone.

One morning he woke up and she wasn't there. There had been a note, a very short note, on the coffee table. Katie had left and she wasn't coming back. Ever.

He hadn't thought that she was serious, so he pretended to be able to make it on his own. He pretended that he was fine without her, when really he felt like he was dying inside.

_I wanted to show how independent I'd grown, but that's not me_

It had been four months since she had left, and a lot of things had changed. Zack was trying to be independent. And he really needed to look like he was tonight. Because tonight he would see her again.

It wasn't really him. He wasn't really independent. She knew him too well, she would see through him right away. But he was going to try anyway. Zack got up from his seat in the kitchen and started getting ready.

The dress was formal, so he got out his best suit, the only suit he had.

_I'd try to be big in the eyes of the world_

He liked how he looked in the suit. He looked like there was nothing wrong with him, like he was perfectly fine. He needed to look good, there would be press there.

Zack figured that if the rest of the world thought he looked fine, maybe Katie would too. But he really didn't care about the rest of the world.

_But what matters to me is what I could be to just one girl_

All he cared about was Katie. Maybe he could make her love him again. Maybe he could be the world to him again, maybe she would kiss him again.

He shook his head, there were too many 'maybes'. Finished dressing, he left his apartment building and hailed a cab.

"New Jersey," he said, and gave the address of the party. The cab started off, getting nearer and nearer to Katie and to his old home.

_I'm a little bit scared 'cause I haven't been home in a long time_.

Zack felt himself start to sweat as the cab entered New Jersey. The party was only ten minutes away. The memories were haunting him. He remembered every painful moment of her leaving, every moment after that.

But he also remembered how great it had been when they'd been together. What had gone wrong? What had he done?

He planned on asking Katie those questions, but he knew that he wouldn't have the nerve. He thought about how he'd changed since she'd left. What he'd gone through since she left.

There was one thing that hurt him more than anything. One thing he was glad he'd been absent for.

_You needed my love and I know that I left at the wrong time_

One month after Katie left, Zack moved into a tiny New York apartment and quit college. He called his old landlord and asked if he had any mail for him that hadn't yet been changed to the new address.

"No, but your ex girlfriend came here looking for you. I told her you moved, and she looked like she was about to cry. Then she said she wanted to get her stuff, so I gave her the box you left me for if she came back."

"Shit! Well, thanks, gotta go!"

Zack had sat in his new apartment, picking up the phone to call Katie, then putting it back down. He couldn't believe it. She'd needed him and he hadn't been there for her. He promised himself that he would never again be unprepared like that, that he would never act so hastily again.

He had definitely left at the wrong time.

_My folks when I wrote them and told 'em what I was up to said that's not me_

Right after he'd gotten the news about Katie coming back, he's written to his parents. He couldn't bear to talk to them. They had written back, saying that they were angry with him.

They had said that he wasn't himself, that he wasn't well. They had begged him to come home. He hadn't gone home thought, he'd stayed in the city.

_Went through all kinds of changes, took a look at myself and said that's not me_

After all of Zack's so called independence and being alone, he'd taken a good look in the mirror. And he hadn't liked what he saw at all. He looked older, tired, alone. He didn't want to look like that.

Zack needed to be himself again. He needed to be like he was before, and the only way he could do that was by being with Katie. He had to win her back tonight.

_I miss my pad and the places I've known and every night as I lay there alone I will dream_

He missed all of his old life. He missed his old apartment, he missed college, and most of all he missed Katie. He wanted everything back, and he wanted it now.

Zack knew that he sounded childish, but he couldn't help it.

_I once had a dream so I packed up and split for the city,_

I soon found out that my lonely life wasn't so pretty

He'd gone to the city so fast, he should've stayed, should've waited for Katie to come home.

"That'll be fifty bucks," the cab driver said.

Zack was surprised that the ride was already over. He paid the driver and walked up to the large house which was host to the annual School of Rock Christmas party. They still had it every year, even though the band was on hiatus due to college.

He got to the front door, nervous as hell, and before he could ring the bell, the door opened. Katie was standing there looking at him. She had on a dark purple dress, a color that only she could pull off. The dress came to a few inches above her knee, showing off her long legs despite the cold.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Zack, I'm so sorry I left. I shouldn't have."

"Then why did you?"

"I-I don't know. I guess I was bored. But I came back, and you weren't there. The landlord told me you moved to the city. Zack, I really do still want to be with you."

"Are you being serious, or are you just toying with me? Because you know, I've been fine without you. I'm quite independent."

Katie laughed. "Yeah right Zack. Look, I'm serious. I miss you. Do you miss me?"

"Yes."

"Good, we'll get a new apartment."

"Uh, Katie? We need to take it slower, to start over again. We can't just live with each other again."

Her face fell a little, and then she went to speak with Summer. The press took some pictures of Zack, but then he went to get some food and find Katie again.

_I'm glad I went_

Now I'm that much more sure that we're ready

He found her, and they set a lunch date for the next day.

"Just promise me one thing Katie: that you won't leave again. You see what you've caused. Now we know how we really feel, so will this ever happen again?"

"No, I promise. Uh, Zack? Are we still too early to kiss?"

"I guess not," he said, and was surprised when he felt her lips on his. He smiled to himself, because he was going to get everything he wanted again.

-I'm not very sure if this is good or not, so please review!-


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